Category: Inspiration

Threading The Needle Through Five Generations

When I decided to sit down and write an article for Mother’s Day, I wanted to concentrate on the four amazing generations of women in my family. One of my greatest blessings was to have my grandmother Ruth in my life for thirty-eight years. She was there for my wedding and for the birth of all three of my children. And when my daughter was born, I never took a day for granted because I felt like we had been gifted something incredibly special over the nine years that we had left with her.

Looking back, I gave credit to my grandmother for bringing our strong independent woman mantra to life. A stranger would have never known that Ruth lost her own mother at the age of seven. Without any maternal guidance, she became the most loving matriarch of our family, not to mention an extraordinary chef and one heck of a fashion plate. Some might have described her as a force to be reckoned with, but in a good way. And through the magic of genetics, her strength has threaded its way through our family all the way down to my now twenty-five-year-old daughter who enjoys letting people know (with humor inserted) that she’s a strong independent woman.

Tracing resilience back to Ruth had always been my go-to until I sat down to write this article and started thinking about my full genetic female lineage. The story of Ruth’s mother Dora, as we have pieced together, also paints a picture of great bravery and perseverance. Dora was the youngest of seven children and the last to leave her parents behind in Lithuania in the late 1800’s. She had two sisters who were often described as being tough as nails, but it was her sister Mary who sent for Dora to come to the United States. After bravely making the journey by herself around the age of twenty, Mary introduced Dora to her brother-in-law, Morris, and it was love at first sight. They married and had four children, Elsie, Jack, Ruth, and Leonard. Sadly, tragedy tore through their happy family when Dora succumbed to an unidentified illness and passed away at the age of thirty-eight.

Since two sisters had married two brothers, Mary remained highly invested in Dora’s family. She even made it her business to find a new wife for Morris – a woman who would quickly become the stereotypical evil stepmother. My grandmother grew closer to Mary as she and her siblings struggled to adjust to life without their mother. It was through Mary that Ruth would learn about the women on her mother’s side of the family. All were described as having varying degrees of dominant personalities, with some even boasting that they liked to rule their households with an iron fist. As my grandmother grew up, the power of her genetics began to flourish. She took over the household chores and succeeded in navigating the new dynamics of her family, later comparing her experience to that of Cinderella’s.

Elsie had it a little easier because she was already a teenager when Dora passed away. The age difference stalled the bonding process until Elsie and Ruth got older and began to develop a relationship more like Dora and Mary’s. Their inherited grit and spunk became an invaluable asset as they raised their families and later helped each other with the loss of their husbands. Losing their mother had helped them master the ability to use humor to cover pain as they marched through their lives with unbreakable spirits. Both lived into their 80’s, continuing to be strong independent women until age and illness sadly caught up with them.

While it would not be a stretch for Dora’s daughters to show signs of their mother’s genetics, the next generation of women in our family seemed to benefit as well. Dora’s granddaughters – Dory, Diane, and Donna (all named after Dora) along with Harriet and Ilene. Each one in their own way became women not to be messed with. Cancer survivors, business executives, nurses, and music educators. Smart and talented women who bulldozed past roadblocks that dared to get in their way. All devoted to their families and up to just about any challenge. Thinking about them collectively leaves me amazed by the genetics. Even adding other family’s genes into the pool only seemed to enhance the strength and determination of our female line.

Dora’s great granddaughters have also continued this trend. At 55, I think I’ve been a good example of persevering through life’s unexpected hurdles. But I can also say that I sit on this branch of our family tree with some other impressive dynamos – Renee, Jennifer, Alexis, Jamie, Carly, Rachel, Talia and Danielle.  We range in age over four decades and I think Dora would be very proud of every single one of us. Women waking up with a purpose to face each day as our best selves while possessing the ability to deal with whatever curveballs might be thrown our way. Based on our family history, this is how I see a young Dora facing a journey across the ocean and a health crisis that ended her life. I believe she did everything possible to battle her illness during a time when her medical options were so limited. A brave woman who left her parents behind knowing she would never see them again could have done incredible things if she had lived among her accomplished great granddaughters at a time when things could have been so different.

And finally, not to be left out is the 5th generation of this family. My daughter is the oldest female and is currently pushing through a grueling master’s program on her way to becoming an occupational therapist. The rest of the girls are still young, but based on what we know, I’m sure that Alden, Lark, Zoey and Emily are all high spirited and strong-willed young women in progress. How could they not be?

So without ever knowing Dora, I feel like my amateur genetic study has allowed us to get an idea of what she was like. Based on my deductions, I believe she was smart and funny, like her daughters, while also possessing the kind of resolve that has flowed through the generations she never had a chance to meet. With Mother’s Day on the calendar, it makes me feel especially good to acknowledge a legacy that feels more meaningful than any of us have stopped to realize. Five generations is something to be proud of, and since it all started with Dora, it makes me happy to be able to honor her and for the first time in my life, wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.

Photo by Shane Rounce on Unsplash

Posted on by Shari Brauner 0

This Epic College Prank Isn’t Possible Today

Once upon a time, we lived in a world without cellphones and instant gratification. Friendships were based on face-to-face encounters and bonding with people who knew how to have fun. That was definitely my experience back in my college days when I surrounded myself with pranksters — we made every day feel like April Fools’ Day. You never knew what we would all do to our friends (or to each other) next; a subscription to an inappropriate magazine addressed to the house next door or a half-pound of olive loaf mysteriously turning up in the refrigerator. Good, playful fun that defined the essence of youth and life in the 1980s.

It was my good fortune to attend college only an hour away from my two favorite practical jokers, Scott and Eric. We would take turns visiting (and pranking) each other, but my trips to Syracuse University inspired our most unpredictable antics. During the spring of our senior year, with our entry into “the real world” growing ever closer, my friends became inspired to outdo themselves — at my expense, of course.

“Reliving an experience where I play the role of the fool brings back nothing but laughter.”

In true college fashion, we stayed up all night watching movies and enjoying a few glasses of wine. As someone who loves my sleep, I never pulled an all-nighter for schoolwork, but friends were a different story. I didn’t want to miss a moment of fun, but by 7 am, I was running on fumes. I just wanted to get in bed and sleep for a few hours so I could enjoy the day ahead without feeling like a total zombie.

Somehow, as the sun began to brighten the morning sky, a scheme simultaneously came to light. “Let’s change all of the clocks in the apartment and take Shari to the big parade in the center of Syracuse. We’ll make her think she got a few hours of sleep when she actually got about 10 minutes.” And so the prank began.

Even My Watch

After they moved all the clocks ahead three hours (including running out to the car to change the time on the dashboard — and somehow the watch on my wrist), the make-or-break move had arrived. From my perspective, I felt like I had just put my head on the pillow when they told me it was time to get up.

“But I don’t even feel like I slept.”

“Of course you did. It’s 10 a.m. Time to get ready for the parade!”

To say I was in a daze would have been the ultimate understatement, but that was exactly why their plan worked so well. Add to that the fact that I don’t drink coffee and I was a zombie. Missing the announcements of the time on the radio as I could not stop yawning and declaring in the whiniest of voices, “I’m sooooo tired. Why am I so tired?”

Their biggest test came when we actually got to the parade. As we stood on the sidewalk, in full view was a giant bank tower with the time not only boldly displayed but flashing. Over and over for the entire time, we stood watching who knows what go by. To this day, I remember none of that parade, and yet, somehow this story lives in infamy even three decades later.

I can only imagine what it felt like to be on the other side of this prank. Watching me struggle to function for the next few hours as they created an actual time warp. My own watch displayed time moving normally … 12, 1, all the way until 3 p.m. as I remained oblivious, apparently missing every opportunity to catch them in their deceit. Every time I yawned, they would exchange glances and laughter, clearly enjoying the fact that they had picked the perfect victim. 

By 3 p.m., I think the boys were hit by some uncharacteristic remorse. We always pranked each other, but this time they could see that it had been mostly one-sided. So with some underlying chuckles, they shocked me with the news that it was actually noon. Plenty of time to nap was all I could think to myself. So instead of being mad, I was thrilled!

Clearly, the advancement in technology would make this prank completely impossible in today’s world, which is what makes this story such a treasured memory. Going back in time can feel antiquated, but in this case, it feels comforting. We enjoyed simple fun without phones or social media to draw our attention away from each other. Even reliving an experience where I play the role of the fool brings back nothing but laughter.

Photo by mostafa mahmoudi on Unsplash

Posted on by Shari Brauner 0

Finding – And Sharing – My Sixth Sense

Intuition: When you don’t know how you know… but you know you know… and you know you knew, and that’s all you needed to know.

Spoiler Alert: This is one heck of a crazy story that not everyone is going to believe, which is totally okay because sometimes I don’t believe it either.

For as long as I can remember, I have felt a presence in my life — some form of intuition. Nothing huge, just a moment where I would know the phone was about to ring, or I would anticipate running into someone I knew right before our paths would cross. During that period, raising my young family was all I had time to think about. Then, life got quiet. And when it did, I decided the time had come to explore a side of myself that had always intrigued me.

In September of 2018, I began actively looking for something to fill my palpable void. Cut to a class popping up in my search that seemed like a perfect match. A beginner’s workshop on clairvoyance and intuition. A somewhat scary endeavor, but I went with my gut and signed up.

Three years later, it would be impossible to sum up the spiritual twists and turns that have changed the course of my life. Many have dropped my jaw to the floor. As I learned early on, intuition can teach a person to expect the unexpected. Add to that the warning given by my teacher: If you choose to open this side of yourself, be prepared that your abilities will grow stronger — and you will never be able to go back.

I remained undaunted thanks to the incredible women in my class. They would become my soul sisters as we bonded and supported each other through a journey that often seemed unbelievable. Our gatherings became immeasurable spiritual therapy as we delved into our different abilities and used them to learn and grow with each other.

For me, things took a noticeable turn in March of 2020 when the coronavirus sent us into lockdown. With normal life at a standstill, I began to notice a cosmic silence that somehow created an opening for a loud and clear level of chatter. I had always thought that my own voice had been guiding me, but in a quieter setting, I could distinctly hear voices that were no longer my own.

My intuition level had reached an all-time high, still nothing surprised me more than when I started to hear messages in the middle of the night. I lost a lot of sleep during that time, including the night I had a “visit” from one of my father’s best friends who was in the end stage of his life. Their friendship had become strained in later years, so he wanted both of my parents to know that he loved them and that he was sorry. I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote down every word, not even remembering what he had said until the next day when I read the message to my mother. His words were so beautiful that I couldn’t help but cry, all the while wondering if I had made the whole thing up.

The 3 a.m. wake-up calls became so frequent that I kept a journal next to my bed in order to write things down before they vanished by morning. While pandemic-related fear crept into all of our lives, I began investing in the late-night distractions that came in the form of hopeful fortune-telling or cryptic riddles. These were the learning stages, when I would feel like a crazy person, until more tangible events started to take place. One of the most memorable was when I had the ability to pass along a message to a friend that it was time to say a final goodbye to his father. This important heads-up helped bring closure to a complicated relationship before it officially ended just a few days later. After that, my gift began to feel purposeful at a time when many of us felt like we had no purpose at all.

Intuition can also bring something special into your life when you least expect it.

Even though good things seemed to be emerging from my self-diagnosed “crazy,” my doubts often trumped my abilities, as I constantly questioned the reality of what was happening to me. As the experiences continued, I began to notice an additional spark of personality in the messages I was hearing. The prankster brother-in-law boasting about his trickery in causing a cell phone alarm to go off. The golfing buddy cheering on his friend for hitting the ball a little straighter (for the record, I know very little about golf). And my favorite being the wise aunt who convinced her nephew to give up a longtime grudge because the source of his anger was no longer alive.

Moving forward, I still had a great sense of caution when it came to sharing what I was hearing. First, I didn’t want to be carted away to the looney bin, but more importantly, I never wanted to hurt someone I cared about. When I got a message for a good friend who lost her son, I wanted her to feel like she could trust that I was saying his words and not my own. If I’m with a friend who I know will cry if I share that we are not alone, I hesitate until I know they will gain comfort from what I have to tell them. And, for the people who need closure, I am very careful to repeat the exact words that their loved one wants them to hear. The results are truly indescribable and often blow me away just as much as the person I am sharing my gift with.

In my 30s, I felt a strong sense that I had been put on this Earth to help people. Two decades later, I am starting to believe that I am also being guided toward the people who need me. A few weeks ago, I began running into a neighbor who had recently lost her husband. We had only crossed paths a handful of times prior, but suddenly she and I were constantly outside at the same time. As we began to talk about our shared spirituality, I realized that her husband wanted us to be friends. He had been trying so hard to get messages to her, and he knew I could be the person to validate them. And as I did, he provided me with an invaluable lesson to trust what I’m hearing, even when I continue to be so afraid to be wrong.

Intuition can also bring something special into your life when you least expect it. Just as my beloved Maltese started to experience a difficult decline in his health, one of my closest friends took on the challenging role as president of his local animal shelter. He became so devoted to walking dogs and running board meetings that I figured the least I could do was follow the shelter on Instagram. Early on, I had a feeling that I would eventually adopt one of their dogs, but Nicky’s difficult passing left me feeling reluctant to consider repeating such a heartbreaking experience. Four years went by, and even though my daughter had a dream about a black-and-white dog joining our family, no dog tempted me until I saw Piper — the pitbull mix with the irresistible cuteness who had charmed almost everyone working at the shelter, including my friend. I had the immediate sense that she belonged with us, and for once, the signs were too clear to question. Piper was the name of my daughter’s college a cappella group and the airplanes that my son was working on in aviation school.

I think it’s highly likely that we all possess some form of intuition. Messages are all around us in dreams and songs. Even repeating words can take us outside the boundaries of our normal daily experiences. It took me many years to shake off the skepticism, even with my growing ability to help people with their pain and loss. As I witnessed the greater good playing out time and time again, I realized that my focus should turn to feeling grateful for this gift in my life. It’s not for me to convince anyone as much as it is for me to appreciate and share.

Posted on by Shari Brauner 3