When I decided to sit down and write an article for Mother’s Day, I wanted to concentrate on the four amazing generations of women in my family. One of my greatest blessings was to have my grandmother Ruth in my life for thirty-eight years. She was there for my wedding and for the birth of all three of my children. And when my daughter was born, I never took a day for granted because I felt like we had been gifted something incredibly special over the nine years that we had left with her.

Looking back, I gave credit to my grandmother for bringing our strong independent woman mantra to life. A stranger would have never known that Ruth lost her own mother at the age of seven. Without any maternal guidance, she became the most loving matriarch of our family, not to mention an extraordinary chef and one heck of a fashion plate. Some might have described her as a force to be reckoned with, but in a good way. And through the magic of genetics, her strength has threaded its way through our family all the way down to my now twenty-five-year-old daughter who enjoys letting people know (with humor inserted) that she’s a strong independent woman.

Tracing resilience back to Ruth had always been my go-to until I sat down to write this article and started thinking about my full genetic female lineage. The story of Ruth’s mother Dora, as we have pieced together, also paints a picture of great bravery and perseverance. Dora was the youngest of seven children and the last to leave her parents behind in Lithuania in the late 1800’s. She had two sisters who were often described as being tough as nails, but it was her sister Mary who sent for Dora to come to the United States. After bravely making the journey by herself around the age of twenty, Mary introduced Dora to her brother-in-law, Morris, and it was love at first sight. They married and had four children, Elsie, Jack, Ruth, and Leonard. Sadly, tragedy tore through their happy family when Dora succumbed to an unidentified illness and passed away at the age of thirty-eight.

Since two sisters had married two brothers, Mary remained highly invested in Dora’s family. She even made it her business to find a new wife for Morris – a woman who would quickly become the stereotypical evil stepmother. My grandmother grew closer to Mary as she and her siblings struggled to adjust to life without their mother. It was through Mary that Ruth would learn about the women on her mother’s side of the family. All were described as having varying degrees of dominant personalities, with some even boasting that they liked to rule their households with an iron fist. As my grandmother grew up, the power of her genetics began to flourish. She took over the household chores and succeeded in navigating the new dynamics of her family, later comparing her experience to that of Cinderella’s.

Elsie had it a little easier because she was already a teenager when Dora passed away. The age difference stalled the bonding process until Elsie and Ruth got older and began to develop a relationship more like Dora and Mary’s. Their inherited grit and spunk became an invaluable asset as they raised their families and later helped each other with the loss of their husbands. Losing their mother had helped them master the ability to use humor to cover pain as they marched through their lives with unbreakable spirits. Both lived into their 80’s, continuing to be strong independent women until age and illness sadly caught up with them.

While it would not be a stretch for Dora’s daughters to show signs of their mother’s genetics, the next generation of women in our family seemed to benefit as well. Dora’s granddaughters – Dory, Diane, and Donna (all named after Dora) along with Harriet and Ilene. Each one in their own way became women not to be messed with. Cancer survivors, business executives, nurses, and music educators. Smart and talented women who bulldozed past roadblocks that dared to get in their way. All devoted to their families and up to just about any challenge. Thinking about them collectively leaves me amazed by the genetics. Even adding other family’s genes into the pool only seemed to enhance the strength and determination of our female line.

Dora’s great granddaughters have also continued this trend. At 55, I think I’ve been a good example of persevering through life’s unexpected hurdles. But I can also say that I sit on this branch of our family tree with some other impressive dynamos – Renee, Jennifer, Alexis, Jamie, Carly, Rachel, Talia and Danielle.  We range in age over four decades and I think Dora would be very proud of every single one of us. Women waking up with a purpose to face each day as our best selves while possessing the ability to deal with whatever curveballs might be thrown our way. Based on our family history, this is how I see a young Dora facing a journey across the ocean and a health crisis that ended her life. I believe she did everything possible to battle her illness during a time when her medical options were so limited. A brave woman who left her parents behind knowing she would never see them again could have done incredible things if she had lived among her accomplished great granddaughters at a time when things could have been so different.

And finally, not to be left out is the 5^th generation of this family. My daughter is the oldest female and is currently pushing through a grueling master’s program on her way to becoming an occupational therapist. The rest of the girls are still young, but based on what we know, I’m sure that Alden, Lark, Zoey and Emily are all high spirited and strong-willed young women in progress. How could they not be?

So without ever knowing Dora, I feel like my amateur genetic study has allowed us to get an idea of what she was like. Based on my deductions, I believe she was smart and funny, like her daughters, while also possessing the kind of resolve that has flowed through the generations she never had a chance to meet. With Mother’s Day on the calendar, it makes me feel especially good to acknowledge a legacy that feels more meaningful than any of us have stopped to realize. Five generations is something to be proud of, and since it all started with Dora, it makes me happy to be able to honor her and for the first time in my life, wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.

Photo by Shane Rounce on Unsplash